The Kind of Wisdom that Only Comes From a Really Bad Hangover

I am about to share with you the wisdom that can only be found by going for a long ride on the porcelain bus, ringing your mates Ralph and Huey on the big white telephone and having a tiny elephant wearing lead shoes tapdancing in your head as a result of a big night on the sauce.
Yesterday I was feeling a little seedy, but thought it would be a good idea to have another night of drinking, bigger and better than the first. Wise move I know.
What can I say, Last night I was blind, I only know the events of the latter part of the evening because I have been told what happened by the poor souls who had to witness my transformation from normal, happy go lucky intelligent woman, into rambling, word slurring bogan, who was on a one way street to spew town.
There is however much good that has come from this. I am now able to share with you dear readers, my disciples if you will the kind of enlightenment and wisdom that can only be reached in this manner.
Firstly, Drinking that much is a bad idea. This is obvious you say, yes friends it is, but to fully appreciate just how bad an idea it really is you have be in my position right now. My advice is take my word for it. Kids dont try this at home.
Second, if someone refuses to give you your keys, and says you will thank them in the morning you will.
Third, frozen coke is the cure for what ails you. Your condition will not improve untill you get some, which is problematic, getting the frozen coke requires movement and often driving. If anyone has a solution to this please pass on your wise musings to me. I will be forever in your debt.
Now for the real wisdom. The good thing about these EXTREME hangovers as i like to call them, is that they give you a mindset that can only be achieved in this state.
I was chatting thismorning with two friends of mine. I was not feeling well at all. The topic turned to leprosy. (i did warn you) I said " Leprosy wouldn't be that bad really Leper collonies are always in nice places" Friend 1 looked a little stunned and then burst out laughing. Friend two says "Yeah always on tropical islands" Friend 1 says you are odd. Where do you come up with this!
The point here dear readers is that No matter what hand life deals you, there are two ways to look at it. When you feel like I did thismorning, anything else looks like a better option.
I could sign out with I'm never drinking again, but you would all Know it was a lie.

Peace Out